Are We All Misogynistic

By Akaash Sinha

Trigger warning: Sexual assault

In this day and age, sexual assault numbers have been skyrocketing and it seems that an increasing amount of people have been opening up about their experiences, but has anyone ever wondered if there was a root cause to all of this? Is it a one-off event due to a few aggressive evil people in the world or a continuous problem that needs to be worked on to be fixed? Misogyny is embedded into most families and societies due to the patriarchal nature of the way we live.

The patriarchy is a power structure where the man is dominant/ the leader. The patriarchy doesn’t only affect families it affects all parts of life. Due to our surroundings either being people who have internalized misogyny or people who continue spreading misogynistic ideas, generational trauma gets passed down as one family teaches their AFAB (assigned female at birth) children to be submissive and to never say no and it is their fault no matter what; and teach their AMAB (assigned male at birth) children that they can do whatever they want without any consequences as ‘boys will be boys.' The biggest problem is the cycle will continue until people start realizing their ideas and views and start off by breaking this vicious cycle themselves.

AMAB people have been taught that if they want to be supposedly attractive, they have to be cold and dominant. They have to be ‘a man.' They are also given the privilege of being ‘owners’ of women, therefore, having no consequences if they do something that is unsolicited. For example, sending uncensored pictures, catcalling in public, following people late at night and in extreme cases groping or filming AFAB people. This can happen with anyone going from complete strangers to someone from immediate family. The national sexual violence report centre says that more than half (51.1%) of female victims of rape have reported being raped by someone intimate to them while 40.8% for an acquaintance (*A). The way the system has been made, AFAB people feel obligated to sit down and accept whatever comes their way which could come from societal expectations and preconceived notions. All these ideas have been normalized and that’s why it is hard to break them, but it all starts with educating AMAB people on what grounds they stand on. We must educate people that the root cause is not how much skin one shows, what matters is solid crystal-clear consent. We need to teach the current and new generation of AMAB people that they need to do better.

As for AFAB people (assigned female at birth), they have been taught time and again to be weak and submissive and taught it is better to not speak out as the patriarchal nature of society implies men are the highest rank if they were to speak out to others would not take it well. They have been taught that it is their fault and responsibility for AMAB actions. Hatred for women can be internalized into subtle ways in people who are surrounded by misogyny. When they are ‘not like the other girls’ or assuming a person of high esteem is a man. These need to be unlearned and they need to be taught that they can speak up and the perpetrator will be punished.

People need to take what survivors say seriously and the punishment for a rapist needs to be more consequential. One common argument is ‘what if the person being accused is innocent? Only a few cases get reported to begin with due to the fear of no one believing them, so this is not common. Another argument being ‘not all men,' but here’s a thought; if there were three glasses and two of them had water and one of them had battery acid, would you drink it? The phrase itself is true not all men have ill intent but in the circumstance of a group of strangers, a person doesn’t know what they are dealing with so that phrase does more harm than good. A recent survey in the UK said that in 1000 women 97% of them had experienced some form of sexual assault. This truly puts things into perspective when issues like these feel distant and far away but in reality, it may be as close as siblings and parents. Why is it not all men but almost all women? We need to break the cycle for the sake of our friends, family, and the people around us. It all starts with you, check your misogyny levels, and make a change for the better. If we all work together, we can make this world even a little bit safer place to be. Start by seeing any AMAB people in one’s house and check where their views lie on topics like these and gently educate them. For AMAB people the best thing to do is try to make AFAB people more comfortable in public spaces which small things that matter; for example, if someone wants to compliment a person instead of whistling or staring politely come forth and compliment them if a person is alone in a public space keep a distance to show the other person they are not in danger. One of the most important things to teach everyone is consent because no means no and anything which is not a clear yes isn’t full consent. Enough small actions make big differences.