I Am A Human, Not A Label

By Rumaisa Ali

What makes a person ignore all qualities of a woman and instead focus all their attention on her outer appearance? The answer is fairly straightforward - the patriarchy. It has taught us that for a woman, every other quality is secondary in the face of beauty. More often than not, the first word that is used to describe a woman, is related to her physical characteristics. Even as young girls, the first compliment that we give to another is habitually along the lines of ‘beautiful’, ‘gorgeous’ or ‘pretty’. A substantial amount of women have normalised the fact that the word ‘stunning’ comprises a set of rules. And these rules dictate what can be considered attractive and what cannot. As long as all the requirements have been ticked off, the woman would be worthy of being called ‘good-looking’. This is due to the fact that society has set definite standards which it perceives as appealing.

Women now view sublimity as a milestone that can only be attained once they adhere to the strict standards set by the society. Tall, thin and fair. These are all separate benchmarks that need to be acquired in order to be seen as ‘beauteous’ in the eyes of the public. The issue with believing that beauty is achieved when a set of rules are adhered to create the everlasting problem of deteriorating self-love and esteem. It also leads to the mind being plagued by insecurity; the tendency to lack confidence in oneself or the feeling of being inadequate. This is because we start applying it in our own lives, we create a mental image of ourselves that we want and believe is perfect and cause ourselves anguish when it isn’t achieved. We look at ourselves in the mirror and think, why am I not taller? Why is my skin so dark? Why do I have acne? Are my shoulders too broad?These are questions we ask ourselves because society has engraved this thought in our mind that a woman’s appearance can only be considered appealing if their skin colour is light, but not pale; if they are tall, but not taller than their significant other; if their skin is clear and blemish free; if they are ‘curvy’ and ‘thin’ but not too skinny, and not too curvaceous. Society has made beauty into a metaphorical puzzle for women. If their pieces do not match the big picture that the puzzle of beauty represents, the pieces do not fit the puzzle and are pariahs.

These standards are only reiterated by the so-called beauty industry. Fashion designers often design clothes for size zero girls. In 2019, Barbara Palvin was officially announced to be a Victoria’s Secret Angel and a lot of comments surrounding her inclusion praised the brand for being more ‘inclusive’ in terms of sizes. Her inclusion in the brand was considered as Victoria’s Secret diversifying their models by adding a ‘plus-sized’ model. Now the issue with labelling her as a ‘plus-size’ mode is that it misrepresents the actual meaning of ‘plus-size’ and alienates the women that actually do fall into that category. Setting an unrealistic image of the said size spreads the wrong message to the people watching the fashion show and subsequently promotes the belief that women can only be perceived as ‘gorgeous’ when their body size is ideal in the eyes of the society and fits perfectly into the standards. In addition to that, her inclusion does not promote diversity. If the brand wants to appear more inclusive and truly wants to represent women in all shapes and sizes, they would choose models that actually fall into the said size. Otherwise, it is just misrepresentation.

Continuing to define beauty with the standards that are set by the society only leads to ‘attractiveness’ becoming a dismissing asset. Something we spend endless amounts of money on because we believe products are miracle solutions that can transform us. Something we spend ages criticising and ‘perfecting’. If we carry on allowing society to put labels on women that are based on their appearance, we are relinquishing all control that we have over ourselves and are letting society reduce us to our appearance and objectifying us. Humans are not meant to be perfect. It does not matter if not all women are thin, tall and fair because that is not what beauty is. Being beautiful is about accepting yourself and embracing your body. It is about being comfortable in your own skin. All of us are different and to set any standard of attractiveness to conform us to the society’s definition of resplendence is the ugliest trick the patriarchy can play on us.

Fighting against the normalised paragon of glamour and thinking of yourself as more than a walking label does not mean that you renounce everything that is even remotely beauty related. It is coming to terms with the fact that there is internalised misogyny and politics behind the simple choices we make everyday. Imagine a woman putting herself through intense starvation, depressive episodes and purgatory to fit into a size zero of an extortionate Vera Wang gown, does that benefit her? Or does that put money in the pockets of big players who exploit insecurities and profit off of them? The truth is that the fashion industry’s basis is hypocrisy. They promote body positivity in their advertisements and endorse slogans that encourage diversity. However, they continue to use size zero models on the runaways and have absolutely no flexibility when it comes to the sizes of their clothes. In multiple shows and movies as well, it is shown that when a woman is adamant on purchasing apparel from high-end brands, such as Vera Wang, she puts herself through an excruciating process wherein she loses her appetite and often works to starve herself in order to fit into the size zero gown.

The objective of these clothing items is to fit your body, you should not be trying to change your frame in order to fit into an exorbitant outfit that is made skilfully by designers to promote the standards of attractiveness set by the society. When you change your lifestyle in order to be able to wear the clothes that these designers make, you give up the control that you have over your own life and hand it to them. Another prominent example of how the beauty industry profits off of insecurities is cellulite. Cellulite is a common term for the formation of dimples in the skin. The exact cause of cellulite is unknown, however, it is frequently found more in women than men. This is due to the different distribution of the connective tissue and fat. In women, fat cells and connective tissue are arranged vertically in the layer beneath the skin. But in men, the tissue has a crisis-crossing structure. And this is the main reason why cellulite is more visible in women. Although it is completely natural and innocuous, it has been overly scrutinised by society and is often looked down upon. It is, yet another barrier that women have to cross in order to be appealing to society. There are multiple variations of creams that can be found in the market which guarantee that they can ‘heal’ the skin condition that is cellulite. However, the plain truth is that none of the creams affect cellulite in any way as the cause of it is unknown. In addition to that, saying that these ointments ‘heal’ a completely ordinary and harmless condition paints cellulite as an undesirable feature rather than the natural-born body part it is.

Jameela Jamil, a popular actress and feminist shared her story with Allure magazine, saying, “I started thinking about beauty in the late ’90s when I was about 11, because that’s when tabloid culture and magazines really started a full-on assault on women’s appearances... I became very aware of beauty as a concept. I started wearing makeup. All of the girls in my school wanted to be thin because thin was equated with being beautiful.” She then proceeded to talk about how she struggled to love her appearance as a youngster because she was constantly reminded that her Indian features could not be considered ‘pretty’. Finally, she said, “Beauty for me has become about loving different faces. I feel like we are now in the most obsessive time of all, trying to look like the same doll clone. It’s weird for us all to want to look like one person.” This last comment of hers really accentuates and represents the beauty standards for all that they are. All these ideals only try to make all women look the same and subdue the power that they all individually hold. You are a human, not a label. Your appearance does not define your worth. And these standards of ideal beauty are nothing but a means to drown out your confidence and spirit. Do not let the patriarchy play its ugliest trick on you and let you believe you are anything less than a treasure.