The True Colours of Gender Reveals
- GIRL UP JANAKI
- Oct 29, 2021
- 3 min read
By Avnie Saraf
Spoiler alert: It's not pink and blue
There have been certain trends in history that are now, fortunately, just considered fads because they were unable to last. They were lived in moments and regretted decisions like buying skinny jeans or cutting your own bangs. In today's society, there is an ever-changing, mindful population, which means that some of these trends need to decline, and gender reveal parties are one of them.
Gender reveal parties are events wherein people gather around a cake with too much frosting and treat the anatomy of an unborn child like its whole worth. It’s where the identity of a new life is already being established without the life ever even being lived. Just to clarify, these parties don’t actually reveal the gender of a child but only its sex or genitals. Gender is a completely different thing, inextricably tied to the social constructs around it.
These parties originated in America in the 2000s, considering that the United States has long experienced a culture where gender is put into tiny boxes of binary. Through social media, gender reveal parties became the latest trend and expecting parents didn’t stop at just small events for disclosing an unborn’s sex but even caused fires, plane crashes and injuries on a large scale. You might be familiar with the 2017 Sawmill Fire in Arizona which was generated by combining blue powder and an explosive.
The idea of these parties doesn’t only affect the environment but also the mindset of the children. Limiting the child at such a young age to specific colours such as blue for a boy and pink for a girl itself is problematic. The concept can restrict the child from exploring their interests based on their own preference making it more challenging to separate their sexual anatomy at birth from their growing physical psychological and gender preferences. It also makes them vary of exhibiting so-called “masculine or feminine traits” that do not match with the gender that is forced upon them even before birth. One can be born female but identify as male. One can be born male but identify as female. One can simply not identify with either and one can identify with both.
But pink and blue pyrotechnics aside, gender reveal parties are problematic due to their reinforcement of the gender binary. It's crucial to consider the consequences of assuming that a child's sex and gender identity are one and the same. In the case of gender reveal parties, parents are already establishing a confined space for their unborn child where their sex ultimately controls their gender identity.
These ideas are damaging to kids who don't end up conforming to sex and gender norms, including intersex, trans, and non-binary kids because it makes their battle to be recognized in their genders even greater. The idea is also detrimental for all kids. This is because it sets them up to believe that the division between girls and boys, women and men, is a really important one and that they need to conform to rigid ideas of what it means to be a feminine woman or a masculine man.
A very common misconception is that gender and sex are related and matching to the binary. But that isn’t true, sex is determined upon fertilization and generally presents itself via genitals. While, gender is more abstract, covering both how the individual identifies themself in regard to maleness, femaleness, and the space in between, and how they choose to express that identity.
Sure, a “genitals party” doesn’t sound too appealing, but at a gender reveal where the guest of honour doesn’t get to choose their own feels like a depressing dystopian novel. It's important that schools and families move towards raising human beings who have all the choices available to them, rather than restricting their future possibilities, and mental health, with rigid gender stereotypes.
Now I’m not suggesting that a new life shouldn’t be celebrated (I mean that’s what birthdays are) but there are more alternatives that are mindful of the child’s future identity:
1. Baby announcements; just a celebration of creating life and bringing a new person to earth.
2. Baby showers; similar to announcements, a traditional event. However, avoid gender normative themes and go for yellow, green, whites or any other gender-neutral colours.
3. Astrological sign reveal; another interesting party of unveiling the soon-to-be-born’s zodiac sign based on the expected birth date.
At last, I want to ask why gender reveal parties are still relevant and what they say about the undue importance we continue to place on gender. In a ritual that celebrates only a binary way of thinking about identity, we're leaving a cross-section of the population out, adding to a culture of trans and intersex shame. And for what? Confetti poppers?
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